So.. I just started work at Cordelia's internship company! For 3 days (+ Saturday) actually.. I got a taste of how it's like during my first day of work.. facing probably the worst director I've ever seen/heard etc. & I also unfortunately ended up with a very strained right thigh (thanks to he-who-must-not-be-named), I didn't think it was bad until I found out that I couldn't even run/climb up and down stairs properly for 2 days~ I was practically limping if I did any of that >< But it's better now, after a good day of rest (:
I think the only reason why I’m going to continue on with this job is because I don’t want to give up & I want to challenge myself to trust and rely on God by allowing myself to be in a position that’s not exactly a bed of roses to me. I don’t even care about the money anymore.. If I was only going to do this for the money, I’d quit right away. Honestly, I really really really didn’t want to go for this job. At first it was about wanting to earn some money, but then.. especially after hearing what Cords said about the boss, and talking to my Mom and friends.. (who told me NOT to go btw) I was 100% sure I didn’t want to go. Despite all this, there was a voice in my head telling me I should go. I had asked Jesus to help me with that dilemma, flipping through the bible and all I saw were stories about people in sort of kind of similar situations to mine :3 They all went ahead because God was with them. I tried ignoring it, but oh wells.. God has His ways.
To be honest, I really want to quit T_T Especially after getting a taste of how it’s like after FIRST day of work. I don’t HAVE to be there, I have a choice. I can be firm and just quit whenever I like. I don’t care about the money anymore anyway. It’s not even a lot. But it’s like.. I feel like if I quit now, I’m not going to experience any of the awesome goodness that God has planned for me when I choose to continue ><
So.. I’m going to work towards not letting my circumstances conform me, I’m not going to be like most people who blame their actions on their circumstances. Don’t ask God to change your circumstances, ask Him to change YOU. I’m going to always praise and thank God no matter what happens. This is my chance to learn to trust in God wholly and for my faith to grow. I don’t think it’s going to be easy, who knows what’s up ahead for the next two months? But what’s there to fear if I know God will be with me throughout? God was with Moses when he stood up to the Pharaoh and demanded to let His people go.. That seems scarier btw, so.. I believe that God will be with me too (:
Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will not hurt me. Don’t believe in words that tell you you’re less than what God tells you you are. & no way will Jesus let you fight the Goliaths of your life alone!
I still foresee myself complaining and ranting and whining though :( I’m only human T_T Thinking about going to work tomorrow is kinda depressing.. OK, very depressing.. I don't think I've ever dreaded work like this before T_T It's hard but I'll try not to let the devil's words get to me... because GOD is GOOD!
From my old post:
(하나님은 너를 지키 시는 자) lyrics!
God is your protector
He protects you day and night
Leading you like the sun in the day and moon in the night
His love surrounds you
God is your protector
He has listened to your troubles and sorrows
You should have faith in Him
That God will protect you
For He is higher than the mountain
Deeper than the sea
As He is the Lord who creates heaven and earth.
(:
